Friday, June 17, 2011

How pregnancy can read like a prescription drug commercial

If you've ever watched television I guarantee you've seen at least one prescription drug commercial. Why they have these commercials I will never know; you either have the specific condition the medicine treats or not... but I digress.

You know how towards the end - right before the actor/actress says his/her, "talk to your doctor about (insert Rx here) and make the switch" line, there's that whole "talk to your doctor before taking (Rx) if you have a,b,c...z. (Rx) may cause a,b,c....z. If these develop, stop taking Rx and talk to your doctor right away." Well, I always thought it was funny because they usually start off with simple, expected, basic symptoms such as headaches, dizziness, blurry vision, dry mouth, rash, etc. but the list goes on the symptoms get worse. So it goes something like, "headaches, blurry vision, some memory loss, numbness, and sometimes even death." And you're sitting there going "WAIT . WHAT?! DEATH?! WHY IS MY ALLERGY MEDICINE GOING TO CAUSE DEATH?!" Even though we all know the company has to put it in their commercial to cover their ass in case someone actually does just happen to die after taking the medicine, we start the mental freak and then calm down to the more rational, "yeah right... like ALLERGY MEDICINE really causes DEATH."

Well, I've come to the realization that pregnancy is the same way. You have the generic, basic, expected symptoms like fatigue and nausea and then you have the symptoms that you hear about but think "yeah right, that will never happen to me." Like having indigestion, constipation, bloating, heartburn, and nausea all at the same time; yet still be hungry and crave food. Another one I didn't think I'd actually suffer from - not knowing I had to pee until it's too late. Yes... I am guilty of relaxing my muscles and having a little accident. I thought they meant only when you laughed or sneezed (which totally happens to me as well). 

Another - we walked around a neighborhood with our Realtor the other night in nice 80 degree weather and when I pulled up my pant leg to scratch my calf I saw something so horrifying - so disgusting and revolting - cankles. I no longer have ankles. This is so embarrassing. All my teenage life I made fun of fat people with cankles and now.... I have them. What's worse than just having them? Being so self-conscious about them that you refuse to wear ankle revealing clothing. Meaning a long summer for me... yeah right, I have a feeling I'll get over this one quick. 

No comments:

Post a Comment