Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Mother's Day and Time Magazine

I told you all I was back and then didn't post until WEEKS later. RUDE!

About a week after I got back to work from maternity leave my boss hired a new person in the office, let's call her "Perky." Perky is from Georgia and left everyone and everything she knew for this job. This includes her family. For mother's day her mother and Godmother flew up from Georgia to see her. Seeing as this was also Mother's Day for me, she asked if I wanted to come over and hang out with them. I had heard so many stories about these 2 women, I could not say no.

I pulled into the parking space at 215 and at 216 I was asked if I was breastfeeding. Of course, I said yes. "oh, then she can't drink," Hollywood says. Hollywood is Perky's Godmother. Hollywood is already so drunk that her words run together so naturally I wonder where she's sneaking in her breaths. Maybe when you're that far gone you don't need to breathe. Hollywood then told me, repeatedly, that she only had one child still living and that she was "so glad I didn't breastfeed." "you know..."she'd lean into me "you can't drink when you breastfeed. I'm so glad I didn't breastfeed my son." The way she kept telling me she was glad she didn't breastfeed made me wonder if she regretted not breastfeeding and this was her way of trying to get me to believe her. or maybe she was just so drunk she had forgotten that she had already told me this five minutes before. Regardless, it got me thinking about the TIME magazine cover.

"Are you mom enough?" I breastfeed my child so...yes? Prior to that article had I given a thought to extended breastfeeding? Yes. Did this article help me in any way? No. In fact it pissed me off. Why? Because although I feel that society's attention needs to be called to the subject since THAT'S WHAT BREASTS ARE FOR, the comments such as "save your breasts for infants and men" INFURIATED me. It makes me have no hope for the children of the future and society as a whole. It saddens me.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

PPD (or something like that)

I use the term "PPD" loosely because I think it's a diagnosis that is given wayyy to generously to perfectly normal postpartum women. I'm not going to lie though- it was rough there for a while.

I found myself with absolute horrid dreams and what I like to call "day terrors." dreams where boiling water was cascading down onto LO and I couldn't get to her. day dreams where while driving across the bridge we go over the side and LO doesn't know better to hold her breath and takes in lungfuls of water.

of course no mother wants to display the fact that she has such horrible thoughts so I let them to myself. until my other new mom friend disclosed that she also suffers from these I thought it was something I alone struggled with.

once I realized I was not alone I began asking all of my mommy friends, in which they all disclosed the same experiences. I can live with only 2 hour chunks of sleep. I can deal with the thrush that we just can't shake. I can deal with a messy house. but I can't deal with these terrifying scenarios constantly running through my head. I'm thankful for those who sat and listened. I'm thankful for the little girl who wakes me up screaming at night.


Saturday, January 28, 2012

5 breast pumps and counting

In the past 3 months, I have purchased 5 different breast pumps. Why? Apparently I'm as rough with them as I am with computers and cars because they all bit the dust.

I did the research by typing "double electric breast pump" into google, then reading all of the reviews about various ones. My first pump was a Simplisse double electric. The reviews said it was a great pump that mimicked baby's tongue and would drain both breasts at light speed. Retail price was $400; I got it for a steal on Amazon for under $200 - that should have been my first warning. Due to Annaliese's poor latch and her inability to feed correctly I had to use the pump exclusively for the first few days of her life. Day 3, the place where the bottle connects to the flange and filter broke on one side. Since it was a double pump,I was able to use the other side and just pump one breast at a time. Luckily, her feeding issues resolved and I was able to feed her directly from the breast and no longer needed to pump.

A few weeks later we took her on her first road trip, 7 hours away. I bought an evenflo manual pump so that I could pump on the way down and feed her via bottle - resulting in less stops. I loved so much I was able to pump and how well I was able to control the manual pump, but it too broke in 3 weeks. I was disappointed, but moved on to the next pump - another manual pump, the Medela Harmony. This pump features two-way pumping. It has a let-down feature which is pretty cool but I found that I don't really need. After a month this pump broke too. Now, it does say right on the box that it isn't meant for daily use - and I was using it 5 times a day.

At $40 a pump, I made the smart decision to order another double electric. Because of my first experience with an electric pump, I was wary. I asked my day-care provider, who breastfed all 3 of her children, and she strongly recommended Bailey's. This brand isn't very popular because while it is an electric, it requires the user to place their finger over a hole in the top of one pump to establish the rhythmic suction. Since the manual pumps worked so well for me, I figured the manual feature on the pump might actually work well for me. My first pump session with the Bailey's pump I pumped double what I usually do in one session.

Now, I've only mentioned 4 pumps and the title says 5 - so what's the 5th you ask? Well, I actually bought another manual Medela after the other one broke. Why? I pump on the way to work, while driving. It's actually perfect for me and our schedule. I get more sleep in the morning since I don't have to wake up half an hour earlier to feed her, and I'm able to get to work on time by asking the daycare provider to feed her the pumped milk for breakfast when we get there.

I also find that pumping while driving is the best way to do it. Driving provides the distractions I need to get a good, consistent let down. I can usually get a good 5 oz while driving.

I hated my first breast pump, went through 2 manuals in 6 weeks, got another electric which is half manual anyways, and bought a 5th manual to pump in the car while driving her to daycare.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

All that glitters is not gold

I find that so many blogs of parents make their children to be these wonderful, perfect angels all the time. I'm here to call bullshit and tell the world our real life schedule.

5AM - wake-up call.
6 - leave for work and pump her breakfast for daycare on the way
645 - Drop her off and go to work
4 - pick her up
415-?? - she screams until she can't anymore.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

My Birth Regrets

I had what many would call the "perfect birth." Short, simple and home 3 hours later.

Truth be told, looking back I have some regrets. In no way am I throwing a pity-party, just showing that even with your birth plan bring followed to the last period, there will always be things you wish you would have done / had.

My first regret is that I wish I would have had her somewhere where I could stay over night. While it was wonderful to be able  to come home 3 hours after she was born; I would have enjoyed the extra help the nurses and lactation consultants could have offered - especially for the first child. Will this sway me towards a hospital birth for the second? Absolutely not. In fact, number 2 will probably a home birth.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Our sleep: co-bedding and beyond

When dealing with the eating issues at the very beginning Nick and I literally got no sleep for the first couple days. She would get to sleep, we would lay down and just as we would drift off she would start screaming. 

After we got over the feeding issues our sleep went from 0 to 3 hour stretches. I was getting far more sleep than I ever thought I would and it only got better. For every "bad night" where she was up every 1-2 hours, she had a "good night" where she'd sleep for 5-9 hours straight. You read that correctly. Now just because she was sleeping 9 hours straight doesn't mean I was... at about 4 hours straight my brain is going, "Oh my God, she's dead... go check to make sure she's breathing!"

The common belief is that if you keep your child awake during the day, they will sleep at night. This is simply not true. I noticed she was sleeping longer at night when I was letting her sleep during the day.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011


It seems to just be one thing after another in our house these days.

Between a poor latch, thrush, an umbilical hernia that caused quite a scare, and now a colicky baby; Nick and I are losing our minds.