Sunday, October 2, 2011

On timeliness

I live by the old saying, "If you're early you're on time; If you're on time you're late; If you're late you're fired." I start getting nervous if I'm not to my destination by fifteen minutes of the decided time, and this causes me to be usually fifteen minutes early for everything. Since apparently no one else lives by this rule and is always late to everything, I end up waiting by myself for a good half an hour. I'm usually frustrated an annoyed that the other person can't be responsible or manage their time well enough by 15 minutes into my waiting - so even if they truly were right on time I'd still be pissed that they didn't find our meeting to be important enough to be a few minutes early for.

You can see how this may present a problem as I wait for this labor show to get on the road. Going into labor at 38 weeks is my "on time," 40 weeks is "late" and 42 weeks is "I'm going to shoot myself." Right now I've been at the destination for a week already and the person I'm waiting on has not yet arrived. They still have another week until they're technically still "on time" but I'm already starting to tap my toe and wonder what the hell is keeping them.
Yes, I know it will happen. Yes, I know there's probably a really good reason as to why my body hasn't started labor yet on it's own. But if you think I'm one of those women who is just going to sit around and wait for it to happen - you don't know me very well. I've spent the last week googling and re-googling "ways to start labor." On day one I took a look at some of the suggestions and just scoffed. Yeah... like that's really going to start labor... as the days have gone on and nothing has freaking happened I started revisiting some of them. As the days and hours tick by, my level of what I will and will not try gets lower and lower. Right now if you told me that your friend's sister's brother's cousin's grandmother had a friend whose dog used to belong to a lady that slept hanging off the edge of the bed and that sent her into labor... I'd probably try it.

Here's a list of 40 ways to induce labor. I'm afraid to admit to you how many I've tried.

Now excuse me, but I have an exercise ball to be bouncing on.


  1. I share your anxiety over being on time. I've yet to experience it in the context of labor, but I can understand how that would be frustrating!

  2. Every woman I have known who has ever had trouble going into labor have found one very fun and effective way... Doing the exact same thing that got the baby in there in the first place! They tell you not to have sex in the 3rd tri because it can induce labor... which is what you are wanting now!